If you think women are vain, check this out.
Push-up underwear for men.
It is supposed to enhance the size of the wearer. But I think its capital punishment for sheer vanity. Schematics are shown as "exhibit A".
Examine Exhibit A:
Like having a turtle on a leash. Is this good for circulation by the way? Imagine if the wearing process does go wrong or their manuals were printed incorrectly. Your badongdong might end up looking like...
*groans*
I myself think that the opposite sex should do all the vanity instead of us men. That is why the push-up bra was invented. Strangely enough, I have this notion, in today's day and age with advancements in an adonis-driven society, push-up bra enthusiasts could look like...
I have too much time and freedom in my hands.
*breaks open into blog with a bimbotic persona*
Oh my gawwddddddddd... This is like so freaking weird... I think I just saw an ubberly cute KITTEN. IT was fant-awesome!!! To die for. She had the cutest eyes, the cutest nose. I mean like cute everything. She was so CUTE!!!
*shoots persona dead, between the eyes*
Annoying when people talk like that. It just boils the blood in my veins. Especially when guys do it. Yeah, you heard me. GUYS!!!!
Enough said. I came here to blog about something. I just can't remember what. I think it was the lack of blogging on my part. Funny how I realised this, half-awake in the middle of the morning while watching this cooking channel. It did nothing for me except exacerbate my always hungry gastro-intestinal tract.
Somehow, between the showings of a very delectable rack of lamb and the strenuous task of making noodles from scratch, I had this silly notion that my current lack of blogging is due to the fact that I care too much of what people think of my posts.
Why do I bother so much? Its not like I created blog because of what people think of me. I made it so I can have at least some peace of mind knowing full well that the things I wrote are gonna offend a minority, if not a majority of readers. Yes, I live to offend and I do so honestly.
Strangely enough, I can't understand why do I even give a rat's ass nowadays.
And then all of a sudden....
I imagined myself in this guy's shoes. All alone in this lonely room.
Drunk, he reaches over for his pack of cigarettes. He flips the top open and tries to make out if there was any left. He shook the box a bit. One last stick.
Lazily he took it out and slides the filtered tip in between his lips.
"Dammit", he swore as he scans the room for that ever elusive lighter only to realise that it was in his pocket the whole time. Reaching in for it, he couldn't quite make out what was on tv. A cooking show of some sorts. In the middle of night no less. His stomach was growling in hunger. He wondered why he was watching this particular channel and why this was on in at that time.
Ah, the zippo lighter that was tucked away snuggly in his jeans' pocket. Shiny, little, metal bringer of fire. A must have for the avid smoker.
He lit his cigarette and sipped in one long drag of a puff.
Beer cans littered the floor. It was one of those nights. Another lonely night for him. One half-empty can was resting comfortably on the table beside him, next to the coaster. He looked at it for awhile and smiled. He remembered someone who used to be annoyed at the sight of an unused coaster. How he used to love watching her clean-up after him, the way she is when she is annoyed and how her forehead wrinkled in that cute fashion that he loves when she's slightly irritated or deep in thought. But then he realised she was not there anymore.
Poor Amy.
He scanned the room again as if looking for another misplaced belonging. Nothing but darkness that engulfed each corner of his apartment. Yes, there were lights and yes, they work but why bother? There's no one coming home tonight. No one would care if he didn't turn on the lights.
Who was going to care?
Amy?
Doubt it.
He took a sip of his beer. It's warm. Tasted awful. He never did like it warm. He looked at the can and realised that he and the beer can was all to similar. Alone and the only ones in the room. No other beer can there to talk to. No other beer can to share all its beer jokes. No other beer can that would nag him on and on about some goddamn coaster.
No one.And then I snapped back to reality because I found the freaking remote to the tv.
Yes, I left that guy talking to the bloody beer okay? He's my imaginary character and I shall do to him what I see fit. A drunk bastard and his friend, the beer. All in all, I still haven't found out why I seem to care about what people think of my entries. My little trip to my subconscious has not gotten me anywhere nor will it ever. Anyways, bloody hell if I care what you think.
Right about now, I am about to go rest and maybe check up on that guy with the lonely beer can. You never know. We might hit it off and I could help him get over Amy.
Who's Amy? Fuck if I know.
This entry has gotten long enough. Good night.
I was tagged ages ago. And I just found that out recently. By recently, I mean, just now.
1. Tell us your name:
My name is Elvis. I bear no resemblance to the King Of Rock nor do I have any similar disdain likeness to the pantsuit wearing legend. If I have to hear another lame-ass crack joke like "Elvis? Presley?" I will have to kill. There will be bloodshed. and blood will flow. Although I do like rock though. Rock soothes me.
2. Three things about yourself:
I have a third nipple. and two more I didn't know about. Does that it three? Seriously, most people tend to put nutty in the same sentence with my name. I'm only happy when it rains and I can be very impulsive. What can I say? You only live once.
3. What’s in your playlist:
Now listening to: April March - Chick Habit, Dio - Holy Diver, Kansas - Carry On My Wayward Son, Some Nirvana and System Of A Down, Fountains Of Wayne - Hey Julie... A lot of mullet rock and some other heavy stuff, tinge with a few bits and pieces of today's mainstream music.
4. Your favourite music:
Oooooo... Where should I start? I'll just let you decide upon the aforementioned playlist selection.
5. Favourite guilty pleasure:
Cigarretes, Self-indulgence and showers
6. Favourite food:
Chinese. enough said.
7. Define love:
define the meaning of life for me and then I tell you the story of love and how it destroys civilisations.
8. Define sex:
Sex without love is just an exercise. That's what I read a couple of weeks ago. What is sex? You wanna do it, you do it. You don't wanna do it then don't. Consensual sex mainly happens through self-gratification and rarely when there's another present.
9. Any celebrity crushes?:
*refer to previous post*
10. The last person you hugged:
I honestly can't remember. It has been that long since my last hug.
11. The last person you talked to:
Daus.
12. The last time you cried:
ME cry? next question please!!
13. The last time you had sex:
Did some perv write these questions out? I mean c'mon. Stooooooopid oso..
14. The last time you made out:
Again, Mr Perv. Stop asking questions people aren't going to answer in public.
15. The last person you dated:
Still dating her.
16. The last time you went out:
Just now, to Abu and Noi's place.
17. What’s on your mind now?:
Still annoyed by the fact that this questionnaire is asked me too many sex questions.
18. What’s bothering you?:
My life and why does it have to be so damn bleak. Existence is meaningless without the comfort of randomness.
19. This year’s resolutions:
Bring forth the good in me because I failed to see it often.
20. Your MSN nick:
*twisted* why? because it sounds awesome. Plus I twisted my ankle once and it still hurts. This was two years ago.
21. What’s your MSN nick about?:
*refer to previous question* I notice that I do have a tendency to be a bit overzealous when it comes to answering questions
22. The people you miss the most:
I'm going to miss a lot of people.
23. Current mood:
sleepy and tainted. i feel full of shit. Literally, i feel full.
24. What are you thinking?:
This is like a psyche evaluation. Bloody questionnaire. It feels like I am stuck in a loophole of seemingly endless questions.
25. Best childhood memory:
kindergarten and most of the first five years of school.
26. 3 of your biggest fears:
Failure, losing someone close to me and being slit at the throat.
28. 3 of the things you hate:
inconsiderate bastards, fucking ego-maniacal drivers and lousy patients.
29. Do you blog?:
DUH!!!!
30. Tag 5 people:
I tag everyone on my blogroll. I bet you not one would do this. HAHAHAHAHHA <----- from bella.. so ditto.
Well that was bloody fun and at the same time refreshing.
Cheerios you wankers.
There is nothing sweeter than opening a blog entry with a
nice pair of...
Eyes staring back at you while you read...
Notice my new fascination.
I just realised that my last entry was about 29 days ago. That is a slump. A month for the next entry is way too long for an entry. It's sad even. Utterly pathetic. What has happened to this here blog??
WHY BLOG, WHY?!?
It seems that I am not the only one too.
*coughs*
Bella *coughs*
Sheena *coughs, coughs*
Random thought: I think most contracts are fronts for scams. When they hand you papers to sign, do they really explain to you everything? Is it necessary for the fine print to be as small possible?
Will you be able to read this, you jackasses? I mean come on... Words this small are practically visually impossible to decipher when they are about twenty lines thick. You'd probably need a microscope and a tiny laser pointer to guide and help you understand word for word. It's like talking really fast and all the person listening to you talk can hear is the last word of the whole conversation. If it could get any smaller I think they would print it at atom-font. What the freaking hell man? I am microscopically giving you the finger. Can you see it? Are you minutely gonna be angry? Of course not. You'd probably start swearing on some God's name that you are definitely going to kill me.
Bloody hell, it's raining again outside. The weather has been totally erratic nowadays. One minute its sunny sunshines all around, the next its raining cats and dogs. It's like the weather is actually a "She". So moody and menstrual like that but only on specific days. I just hope it doesnt rain blood on us all.
There was a reason for me to blog tonight. I just can't remember what. Maybe it's because of the fact that I've just finished my finals. Did I say "just"? I meant a week ago. Now, I am left with the task of clearing out my room. Bloody tasking if you ask me. So much shit to take out. Those three years ++ had a lot of moving in done. I didnt realise that till now. Who the hell put nestum in my cupboard?!?
On the brightside, I found a bottle of shampoo underneath tons of my clothes. Why is that a brightside? Simple really.. I ran out of shampoo lah this morning.
It is official. My life as a student nurse is coming to an end. A week from now, I'll be back again working in KB. The land of absurdly tiny little businesses, pancake size roundabouts and
*queue drumroll*
nodding donkeys.
Yes, that was lame. Lame, lame, lame... a frail attempt at trying to get a good laugh out of you. Is it so wrong for me to try to humour my audience once in a while?
Lame jokes aside, KB isnt that bad. It is a vibrant metropolis similar to the likes of Bangar, Pontianak and the lost city of Atlantis. That and its also home. I miss home already. Slightly miss it.
Anyways, back to my little tale of woe and blatant ambiguousness... Follow me into the depths of the heart of a soon to be former hostelite that is soon to be uprooted from his little sanctuary. No more mall, no more late night gaming with friends, no more late night smokes in late night cafes, no more ghost hunting, no more EVERYTHING. How will I survive dammit?!? HOW?!? Maybe I'm just exaggerating a bit. Yes I am. That's it. It's just me going hyper-drive on a sugar and caffeine high.
I think I just lost the purpose of this entry.
Where was I? Oh yeah, the return of me to KB. By December, results will be out and that itself will determine something right? Right?!?
All of a sudden I feel horrified of what the future has in store for me. If only I had a religion...
That's all for tonight folks. See ya.
It is supposed to enhance the size of the wearer. But I think its capital punishment for sheer vanity. Schematics are shown as "exhibit A".
*groans*
